you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
