Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
