I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
