So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize