I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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