did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
