Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
