the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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