I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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