you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
they're like a gay fantastic four
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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