I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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