Ambien. No doubt about it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
