dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize