I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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