how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize