I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
