i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
