Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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