The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Too much gin, very little bucket
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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