dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
