I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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