Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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