She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize