I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize