I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
