somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
