You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
