Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
