So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
