me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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