Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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