Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
