just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is it penis luge time yet?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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