when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
