i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
