woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
