if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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