Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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