We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
