Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize