we have officially lost it.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
