the day after is always just damage control
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
