All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
