You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
