He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
