It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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