i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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