Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
