So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
