I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
