everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Randomize
