That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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