Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
