I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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