Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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