I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
