winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
