ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
