OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
