A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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