Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
