so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
