I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
