I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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