girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
