I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
