i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
