she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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