i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
