the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
