how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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