it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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