Yo dont text me then not text me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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