Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
