He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
