What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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